A lot of us celebrants have blogs but we rarely write about funerals. I think the assumption is that most people who are casually browsing for happy wedding inspiration have no wish to suddenly be confronted with a ‘Hellooooo! Everyone dies!’ post!
But, in real life, it’s Humanist funerals that seem to resonate with people the most. ‘They’re just so personal’ is the most common compliment but my favourite is the ‘I really enjoyed it…well, as much as you can enjoy a funeral…..I mean, it was really good fun……God….well, not God…..oh crap. I’ve totally myself in a hole I can’t get out of….a lot like Auntie Morag….HELP….ME.’
I conducted a funeral this morning for a lady with a lot of best friends and a very talented sister and, between them all, they created a ceremony that could only have been for Joan. The hall was dressed with candlabra and rose petals, all Joan’s friends wore leopard print and red ribbons and, rather than bring in the flower-covered wicker coffin, each ‘pallbearer’ carried in a photograph of Joan looking gorgeous with the broadest, most generous smile in each one, and they placed them on a display at the front. It was beautiful.
I led the tributes from her friends, another friend spoke of their good times together and between the stories, the projected images and the music, it was gloriously ‘all about Joan’.
Isn’t that how funerals should be? All about the person who died, their good points and their bad taste? Admittedly, sometimes, it’s not so straightforward- there’s been a few family visits where there’s been a reluctance to explain a substantial gap, maybe 3-5 years, in their dear brother’s life. My advice? Don’t worry about it, EVERYONE KNOWS ALREADY!!
We left the Crematorium today to the strains of the theme from Star Trek: The Next Generation. I was slightly disappointed that I didn’t ‘energise’ but you can’t have everything. A nice man told me it was his first time at one of these funerals and he’d thoroughly enjoyed himself…well, not enjoyed himself…oh crap.